I have seen so much unhappiness and pain lately. Friends in unfaithful relationships, unfair legal rulings, break-ups, miscarriges, and divorces. My heart aches for these women and the hurt they are experiencing. I want to help, to relieve a little bit of the heartache. I want to rescue my friends from pain and see them smile again.
While I see this happening all around me, I feel even more grateful for what I have. A husband who treats me with kindness and affection. Children who have healthy bodies. A home that protects us from the strongest winds.
The funny thing is, I bet a lot of people see my little family and feel like we are the ones to feel sorry for. We don't have a lot of money and we struggle to pay bills. Our home is small and old. I have juvenille diabetes and take shots everyday. My husband goes to work everyday to do one of the most dangerous jobs there is. And we have a son with a disability. But these things are not problems, they are our trials to overcome and our personal blessings.
So don't feel bad for us. We are happy. We see the benefits of living humbly now. When the day comes that we can afford to have a larger, newer home, we will appreciate it like we never could if we had had it from the begining. When we can pay our bills without wondering where gas money is going to come from, we will thank Heavenly Father for helping us learn to be thrifty. When I get to heaven and have a body without diabetes, I will understand why this particular trail was mine to learn. When CJ comes home from work safely every night, I hug him and love him, and recognize how lucky I am to have him.
And JJ- well, autism does complicate things a bit. Our life is harder, our money stretched tighter, our dreams of a normal life for our youngest have changed. We struggle, no doubt about that. We wonder from time to time "why us, why him?" But just as quickly as those words are thought, we know why. Because JJ is perfect in Heavenly Fathers eyes. He loves us unconditionally and with passion. He has made us learn and grow and stretch our minds. He is helping us to strive for an eternal family. We want to see him as a complete person in Heaven someday- with a voice and a mind that is far superior to ours. Interesting, but as I write this I realize that although I am refering to JJ, I could also be talking about my Heavenly Father. They have the same qualites to make my family and I become better people. Maybe that was the plan all along. I have my own little piece if Heaven here on earth.
I am blessed.