Sunday, December 14, 2008

Take Another Little Piece of my Heart.

It always happens just when a mommy thinks she may run away from home. Right when the mess and the noise and the lack of privacy gets to be a little to of her kids does something charming and perfect and she forgets all her reasons for thinking an escape was the only option.

It has to be a gift from God that a mother can survive day after day, repeating the exhausting routine, fueled only by kisses and love.

My daughter turned 10 last week. It seems like just yesterday I was bringing her home from the hospital, cliche' but true, and now she is a tall, beautiful young lady. Madison sings, dances, runs, laughs, creates and fills this home with originality and fun. A big part of the energy in our family is thanks to her. I have always considered her my rockstar.

Madison hasn't ever been very interested in reading, but something has spurred her on recently, motivating her to spend several hours each night absorbed in fiction. It has been such fun to have her call me into her room so she can tell me all about the characters in her books.

I remember doing this with my own mom. Trying to explain the plots in a way that mom would get as excited about it as I was. What is interesting to me now is that as Madison is talking with her hands and making such expressive faces, I'm not nearly as focused as I should be on what she is saying but on how smart and funny and emotional she is and how I feel so connected by this passion we now share.

Today she asked me to buy her a book she has been bringing home from the school library so that she can read it again when she is done. I'm such a book nerd that I still have shelves of paperbacks from when I was her age and it is making me ridiculously giddy to have her read the same stories I loved so much.

Tyler, my middle schooler (still seems unreal) is fiercely dedicated to being excellent at football and to getting all A's and so far he hasn't had anything less than success. He tells me so every day as soon as he walks in the door. Tyler gets up and ready early every morning without me having to wake him, does his homework first thing after school, helps me out a ton, hugs me and asks me how my day is going......the list could go on and on. He is fun, smart, athletic, kind, and well rounded all-American kid.

I don't know how I got so lucky, and believe it a miracle that Chris and I with all our bad habits and imperfections could produce such a fabulous young man. He was the blessing that changed my life all those years ago and he continues to bless me every single day.

Jacob- chunk of my soul that walks around outside me. There are days that I can't tell where he starts and I end. His little steps forward put me on top of the world while the struggles he has break my heart.

As my other kids are growing up and gradually stepping away as they should be, Jacob still needs me as much as ever and I can barely entertain thoughts of having him cared for by anyone else. It still scares me every time I send him off on the little school bus to face the world alone so I stand and wave goodbye until the school bus is out of view.

These children of mine are my ..... The progress and the setbacks, the laughter and the tears- I feel it all so deeply and praise Heavenly Father for letting me have this connection to 3 amazing little human beings. Time passes and they grow and it gets closer to when they won't be mine as much as they will be their own. No matter where they go and who they become, they will always have a big piece of my heart in their hands.


Amy said...

What a sweet post. That picture has me in tears. You rock woman!! You do know that right?

Sharlie said...

Alaina, that was beautiful. Make sure your kids see this someday. They will treasure it.

TC said...

Wow, first of all that was a very awesome post. You are such a great writer. Second... please tell me that photo is of you at age 10 and not Madison. Holy moly, you look like twins. I totally remember being so jealous of you and how fast you could read. You would have a stack of books in your room and go through them twice before I would have the first chapter read. That is awesome that you were able to pass that on. ;)

Cajsa said...

Alaina How beautiful! Your daughter is the spitting image of you as well. I remember you around that age isn't that funny. My how life goes quickly.

Cajsa said...

Alaina that is beautiful! You are so great. Your daughter is the spitting image af you. I remember you at that age. My how quickly life passes by...

Jaimers said...

What lovely children you have! You're a lovely mom, too! Also, you look really good in your rear shot! I could never get away with that!! xxx