Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at home?

Props if you know that song. :)

Eight months. I have not been here to my blog for eight months. Of course, a lot happens in a growing family in eight months. Too much to try and go back and account for it all. I'll just wrap it up like this: Tyler is driving and dating, Maddie is book-obsessed, Jacob is talking more every day, and we have a new child living with us. Oh, and we bought a house.

See, too much to try and go back and remember the interesting details. Suffice it to say, we are happy and pressing on.

I am sitting in the library of a tiny Iowa town, not the one that I live, enjoying the complete silence except for my typing. I have 2 hours to myself as I wait for Jacob's school day to end, and I have been wanting to get back to writing a bit, so this seemed the perfect time.

Now I sit here thinking of what to say, of what I need to put out there, and I am realizing that I have become very reserved in the months that have passed. I haven't shared much of myself, my trials and joys, my personal experience with anyone for way too long. Its a release to me, this task of sitting down to a keyboard and letting my thoughts run out my fingertips.

I suppose this means my life is running smoothly. No tragic events, no incredible highs.

And while some people might find that the easiest way to live, I fear it puts me on the road to depression. I need spice.  I need to feel down to feel up again. Is that ludicrous? Wanting the roller coaster?

I don't wish for unhappiness or pain, but action. Things happening, requiring me to think and have new experiences. I am not one to be contented with continual calm. I have always appreciated the high of adrenaline, the freedom of speed, the search.

Sometimes I wonder if this is just immaturity. Do I need to grow up a bit and realize that calm and consistent is a blessing? Maybe. Heaven knows I don't feel like a grown-up in many areas of my life.

I have everything and everyone I need. I am a fortunate woman. I know this, but it doesn't completely drown out the desire for something to inspire me. 

I will be back soon. I feel my fingers regaining their energy to string together words. My mind has been shaken a bit, and writing will start to call to me again. Finally.

1 comment:

Heather said...

Greetings! I have a quick question about your blog! My name is Heather and my email Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com