I have always been an emotional writer. I have notebooks full of letters and poems and song lyrics that were inspired by love lost and found. My most creative times have been the result of my tender heart cracking open a little. It takes a little tugging on the heartstrings for me to be inspired to write. Occasionally a really happy line or two will break through, but in general you could call me a Broken-Hearted Poet.
I realize that it is easier for me to write about all the hardest parts of autism. A traumatic or painful event and I'm all over getting it out there in writing. I do know that I process the most difficult things by putting pen to paper (or rather fingers to keyboard.) An especially hard day can come to a clean and orderly conclussion when I have written in down and wrapped it up.
But for today, for the sake of showing you, and myself, all that I can see the blessings and rewards of this autism that I cry about, I will focus on how it has made me grow.
*I can go without sleep and function at full rate. This ability has been perfected over 5 years of being up and down at all hours of the night, often not sleeping for more than 2 hours is a row, while still needing to perform all my regular mom-jobs during the day.
*Cut toenails, clean ears, and remove slivers while keeping a light sleeper asleep.
*I am a bonafide pro at making my home Fort Knox safe, 100% child proof, an expression of my unique style, and beautiful all at the same time. You should see how cute my guest bathroom looks after a weekend of painting and decorating.
*I can: smell an overpopping bag of popcorn before the whole thing is ruined (after little hands pushed random buttons until the microwave started), hear the silence that mischief makes, and detour a dripping ketchup sandwhich to the kitchen table before any permanent damage is done. Whew.
*I have a 6th sence- positioning my body to withstand and deflect 110 pounds of force coming at it from any angle at any moment. This one is really impressive. Most victims stumble and fall right over. (Sorry, mom.)
*see the humor in my unique situation.
* I have gained the skills required to make my children's needs known, and how to gently but persistently push until that need is being met.
*I understand unconditional love. Nothing else could have taught me this as well.
My skills keep increasing. Every day they are tested and refined. I can jump whatever hurdles get thrown in my way. I am superwoman.